oh what a night...

I swear, each time I see him it is better than the last time. I don't know how it is possible, generally things don't necessarily work that way for me. But, there is something here...he is funny, he is smart, he is handsome, he is comforting, he is warm, he is thoughtful, he is appreciative, he is complimenting, he is reciprocal, he is sexy, he is entertaining, he is passionate, and he is growing on me!  Crap!

So much so, that I feared telling him sweet daddy was coming home and I would likely be "seeing him". I thought I would lose him for sure, but I didn't. He said I could have both! I am sort of glad, but I also just wish he would have told me he didn't want me to see N when he comes home. I would be only with him if he asked.

I fear falling for him and forgetting N. Obviously, he is not concerned with this as he has said he does not want to get attached and has control over his emotions. I fear that things would not be the same if we went down that road. However, we are more than what we were and it just keeps getting better and more connected. We are very in tune with one another...that doesn't just happen or go away because you want it to.

Lately, it is as if we just melt together and are able to communicate without words. I have not felt this since N and to be honest...this is much better than that (and that was almost perfect). He is someone who is going to be a very good friend, as he is someone I trust and respect. He makes me laugh and it is hard not to have a smile when I am hanging with my pickle...my super hot friend w/benefits!