blow me...

This is going to be a rant as I am trying to express myself in the moment more while also staying present. Okay, so don't say maybe come over I will let you know by 5 then get back to me close to 6 saying a buddy is coming instead and "things change, you'll let me know if plans fall through". Like I get it...we are not a couple and we have a very specific relationship, but I am not a piece of shit prostitute you fucking pick up on the street! You don't just keep me on hold in case nothing else comes up! Fuck that - strike one!!!!  I like you and I know you are fighting attachment here, but for real...do not disrespect me. I am not putting up with that shit anymore from anyone. I mean, fuck, we are friends...you don't do that to people you like.

I know it is not fair that you are the one who came after all the pieces of shit that made me angry and bitter and insecure...but that is the way it is. I don't expect to come before your friends at this point - BUT you had  NO plans!!!!  Since we talked about it - I should have been the priority tonight. Guys worry that girls will try to run their lives and be ball and chains...no, you are just so ridiculous sometimes you make us say do things that appear crazy and possessive because we feel like we are in a competition for your damn time...shit...just give a piece of what you get from me and we'll all be fine.

If I treat you like shit and disrespect you...then by all means continue this bullshit macho attitude you have going.  My plan for not making you a priority at all goes into effect now. If you like me and want to see me...prove it, I will be more than happy to oblige. At this point, I guess I would say I am liking you more than I should because I would be lying if I said that didn't sting tonight...