same old song and dance...

Ok, I realize that I am uber assertive and sometimes borderline controlling. However, I am glad that I am able to say what I feel. No one ever has to guess what I am thinking because I make it very clear, and if for some reason I can't be clear - my explanations are enough that someone could easily deduce what I meant. That being said, I am over people who can't be real with me. I hate the masks that they wear when posing as a friend, a potential mate, a confidant. It may take me awhile because of my desire to trust, but I eventually see through it all. This is so disappointing because it would have been easier to just tell me. Say hey, I don't like you or hey, I just needed your money, or hey...just needed a place to crash and I knew you couldn't say no. 


So, wondering what happened with A-Ron...really liked him (smart, cute, great voice, witty, and easy to be around), and thought he liked me to...or so he said. Had a mediocre conversation one night, I apologized, he bolted, I apologized again...then he said no big deal and that I may have blown it out of proportion - well yeah, don't want to be a bitch! So, I try to make things right if it is my fault. 


Talk a bit on Thursday, ask him to call me Friday instead since my there was some ER drama with the family...he said yes, and I am coming Sat. Yeah, wipe brow - things are back on track - sigh of relief...I didn't fuck things up.  Or did I? Saturday 2PM text message stating that he is sorry for the late notice but can't make it. No phone call!!!!  A text...I tried calling - surprise, no answer. I text - I kind of feel like you are blowing me off. Reply, not blowing you off just trying to get things ready...no further contact. I reached out again (because I am a fucking glutton for punishment ) saying that I understood something came up but would like to see him again and will wait to here...I may be waiting a long time :(


I am okay, since I hardly knew him...but hours of great conversation really left me satisfied and now I feel hungry and thirsty for more. I am such a sucker for a smart guy who is funny too. I just want it all...the double A-ron was a special find, but can not be the only good one out there. I hate dating...I just want to find someone who gets me and wants to make the time.