My first MD in years...

Let me start by saying, for the time being, I am giving up dating. Don't believe me...just watch and learn!


1. Took me forever to get over my trip with Nathan. Love this boy too much - he has my heart.


2. Got started with too many boys at once - who the hell do I think I am?


3. Met someone in between that I have lovely chemistry with (D) - he has my physical body.


4. Met someone who made me laugh (H) - he had my mind.


5. Met someone who asked about me (R)- he had my curiosity.


6. Met someone who was adorable and shy (A) - he had my interest.


I still love Nathan, but this is not our time. I am very much enjoying my time with my chemical romance. My laughter left when the ex gf came back. My curious boy was a fucking creepster who left me with bruises (I was asleep) - what a piece of shit. And the adorable shy one started smoking and kissed like a man with no lips might.


Woe is me!


So the MD you ask...R, the curious one, is the first Major Douche I have encountered in years. Was so tired, still went over to his place...stupid. Fell asleep and he got angry. At one point, had a dick in my ear and a tit in his mouth...fucking hurt. Tried to push him off...got pulled on top of him - felt drugged...had my legs pulled in every direction...fingers left bruises...I am going to punch his fucked up face if I ever see him again.


Delete and walk away...move on...no dating for now.


Miss HAP, enjoy D, still heart N.


I wonder why the 3 survive my picking apart of males in my life. With them, imperfections become incredibly perfect. My relationship with D is perfect and I want nothing to change. It is so uncomplicated and perfect. It is honest and raw and it meets our needs. Anything beyond this would ruin everything with us. I even told him a secret of mine because I think of him as a friend now - he now knows I left home my senior year...though I can not tell him it was because my parents preferred to spend their time with the boyfriend that beat me up rather than their own daughter...he may not call me his little hottie anymore...he may see me for the garbage that was tossed out to the curb even though I left her behind long ago. PS another coincidence...from my list again...he asked if I liked the Flaming Lips...duh!  He talked about their new album dropping and again played it cool even though I totally got the thing pre-release - lol. I am a dork, he is right.


I appreciate that he accepts our situation and will let it just be what it is - friends with benefits. He is a lovely benefit :)


E asily amused