Well, here I am back at work and back to my current reality. AND I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!!!! In fact, I feel sad and have very low energy the past two days since I have been home.
Right now I am just trying to get out of my slump. Took a little walkie walk with Amy today; that helped some, but still just feel kind of empty. I think I have been avoiding the fact that I need to first determine what it is that has me down, accept the feeling, and move on. I keep telling myself it was leaving New York City or having to come back here, but my gut tells me it is the fact that I am no longer spending every moment with one of my favorite people. Have I been kidding myself about how I feel? What the F just happened to us? What the F just happened to my head and my heart...I'm in a tailspin and I am freaking out!
I miss him...it hurts...I wonder what happens next...I wonder if he misses me...I wonder if he thinks of me...I wonder if he hurts...
I fucking hate ESPN for taking him from me here in MN!!!!!
I want to go see him in CT ASAP - this is NOT good...
To be continued...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Back to Reality :-(
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1 comments:
lol you are being sucha girl! and that's ok :) just let it play out. sounds like you were both on the same level in NYC, I'm sure it'll keep going like that. yeah it sucks though that it's super long distance, but like you were saying yesterday- hopefully seeing each other once a month or something and flying back and forth. just talk to him and see how it goes :) but you totally deserve the best and it makes me happy to see you happy when you talk about him etc. :)
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